Most Likely to Stay Sexy and Not Get Murdered
One day you'll meet a wolf man at the end of the aisle. You'll notice him at first, bulky in the background. You'll scan his presence and look again. He's holding no products, lingering out of the corner of your eye. Red flag, red flag. (Shit, just find a product to stare at and act distracted). He is sinister, yet unassuming. But congratulations. This is a right of passage for you. If you survive this, you have officially turned old enough to go shopping by yourself just to find yourself being stalked in the bread aisle. Now you're a woman. So when you're faced with this scenario and you're not sure of his intentions but you're determined not to die, there are a few things to keep in mind as you go. Don't worry; we all have to pass this level at least once.
17 Steps To Survive Being Alone in the Aisles With Wolf Man
Follow these steps to avoid being swallowed by the night (because going out hungover in sweats and no makeup won't deter him):
This is free writing about the fears in my head. About scenes many of us have starred in unwillingly. I read a tweet tonight about imagining that you got murdered and some girl skips your episode of Forensic Files because it looked too boring. The purest fear of being forgotten. The unthought known. Everyday situations can get you killed. This is a reminder to survive.